simonelli

Cartoons by Simon Ellinas
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OUR CONFERENCE CORRESPONDENT WRITES: IN A BLISTERING attack on the rest of the World, the Home Secretary, Theresa May, told the Tory Party Conference today that nobody other than thoroughbred British people have any right to a family life in a free society. "How can anyone who is not completely British possibly merit a...
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SORRY, THE DAILY MAIL misheard. That should read NOT GUILTY!
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ON THE HOTTEST October day since records began Tesco predicted it would sell 3.5million sausages, 550,000 burgers and 500,000 tubs of ice cream over the weekend. And that's just in Lord Prescott and Eric Pickles' neighbourhood.
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NICOLAS BENT TO pick a buttercup and handed it to Carla. Carla's heart fluttered as his fingertips touched hers. "These, my dear," said Nicoals Sarkozy, pointing to some shrubbery, "are roses tremières and those are ornithogala pyramidales." Carla's legs turned to jelly. "Blimey!" she thought in her native cockney accent which she so cunningly...
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Comedy singer songwriter Elliot Mason
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THE LATEST COMEDY double act to hit the screens has taken the nation by storm with "Two Eds Are Better Than One" blowing away audiences in Liverpool. Playing to rapturous applause from an admittedly partisan audience, Ed Miliband, the tall, ahem, good looking one without glasses joshes and banters with his straight man, the...
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Caricatures and cartoons by George Williams
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IT SEEMS LIKE yesterday that four spotty, ink stained schoolboys were giggling over an old Banda Machine in Shrewsbury School. Richard Ingrams, Willie Rushton, Christopher Booker and Paul Foot produced the Salopian in the mid Fifties. Once it had achieved some backing and the benefit of offset litho printing, and once the suggested name...
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HOLLYWOOD ACTOR and legendary hell-raiser, Charlie Sheen has worried his friends with his increasingly erratic behaviour. Sheen's routine normally includes regular alcohol and drug abuse, marital problems and alleged domestic violence. "We're used to seeing televisions coming flying through his front windows and drug dealers arriving and leaving at all hours of day and...
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Cartoonist Simon Ellinas
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AT THE PREMIERE of I Don't Know How She Does It starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Christina Hendricks, rumour was rife that that the two main stars of the film were contenders for Golden Globes. Cartoonist Simon Ellinas
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NOT TO BE OUTDONE by the Conservative Chancellor George Osborne, Labour leader Ed Milliband received a whipping from several hundred members of the Trades Union Congress in London earlier this week. Cartoonist and caricaturist Simon Ellinas.  
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Caricatures and cartoons by Simon Ellinas
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LEFT: SOME nice flowers instead of the usual Twin Towers pic which we were lazy enough to include in an earlier edit which we now realise committed the same sins of the media we are lampooning below. NEWS ANCHOR, TED EXPECTANT: IT'S THE TENTH anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on New York and Washington...
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". . . WE'RE GOING GET slaughtered tonight . . ." They probably didn't mean literally:
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NASA TRIUMPHANTLY RELEASED some photos today to dispel the myths that the Apollo moon landings had been faked in a Hollywood film set. NASA's Lunar Reconnaisance Orbiter (LRO) has taken photographs that clearly show footprints, markings from the tracks of the lunar buggy and spacecraft scorch marks on the surface of the moon. Research...
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THE FORMER LABOUR Chancellor has released his memoirs to disclose several shocking revelations about Gordon Brown's administration as Prime Minister: 1) He failed to grasp the seriousness of the recession 2) There was an atmosphere of crisis and chaos 3) The Pope is Catholic 4) Bears shit in the woods 5) The sky is...
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By Piers Stasanewt You're All Going To Die Correspondent (LEFT: An average night in middle class suburbia.) EXTREME SPORTS FANS may favour bungee jumping, white water rafting or diving with sharks, but they do not know real danger like the middle class, middle aged residents of leafy suburbia. The middle classes • Drink wine...
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Cartoons by Simon Ellinas
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