STOP PRESS: 306 MPs DECIDE WHETHER 62MILLION PEOPLE WANT TO ENTER EURO
Saturday, February 4, 8:42 pm
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BBC NEWSFLASH: "The remarkable remains of two ancient human-like creatures (hominids) have been found in South Africa"
1st March 2010 WALKING UP THE hill I go past many houses and a few blocks of flats. A multitude of unconnected strangers lead out their lives behind various constructs of brick, wood and tile. Other people’s lives have a mystery and glamour about them which make good stories. I have often seen, from...
CHILCOTT: Did you do anything wrong? BLAIR: No. CHILCOTT: I think that concludes our business here, gentlemen.
Archive, issue 3, March 1995 “What a wonderful idea!” – Miles Kington “It’s funnier than Squib was.” – Tony Husband, cartoonist and former editor of Oink! “Brilliant effort!” – Steve Way, ex-cartoon editor of Punch “No” (in answer to four out of six questions on our questionnaire) – John Brown, publisher of Viz (so...
Archive, issue 2, Jan 1995 WHY -OH-WHY do supermarkets use superglue to label their fruit? WHY-OH-WHY do insurance salesman ring you up for ‘a little chat’ and then go on to try to sell you insurance? WHY-OH-WHY is pornographic,lewd, sexist, racist and totally puerile humour classed as ‘adult’? WHY-OH-WHY doesn’t the man on the...
Archive, amended from issue 2, Jan 1995 PARIS. A HISTORIC court action was started here this week. The plaintiffs are the French Association of Clowns who are accusing the defendants, Banana Skins of flasely masquerading as a comic device. René Pou-Pou, the clowns’ spokesman explained: “Eets incroyable. Pour trop longtemps ze skins de bananes...
Archive, amended from issue 2, January 1995 NEW YORK. A historic agreemnet was reached here today between two of the greatest inventors of the twentieth century. K. Edgar Hoover (younger brother to J. Edgar Hoover and elder brother to L. Edgar Hoover) and Lazlo Biro amicably agreed to swap tradenames for their respective products....
Archive, Issue 2, January 1995 ONTARIO. Mounted police had to ride in to break up a crowd of self-confessed loiterers who were picketing the city’s hotels. Ernest Pickenheim, the group’s spokesman, said, “We want to form a lobby for hotel reception areas.” Police arrested four men who were in breach of the Sense of...
AS SOME OF YOU might have noticed, I have relaunched my old magazine, Ha! (Humorous Arts). This is a topical satire magazine full of cartoons, caricatures and humorous writing with reviews of all forms of humour. You can find out more simply by visiting the site! Click the logo below to enter Ha! Humorous Arts. And please...
ARCHIVE: Amended from Issue 2, January 1995 LONDON ZOO IS a good place to go if you want to look at animals. But then so are the Houses of Parliament or any tube train in the rush hour. A visit to the zoo always raises suspicions that the animals are also looking at us....
Lunatics run riot in asylum
TEMPERS WERE RUNNING high yesterday in Westminster's Lunatic Asylum. Daffy Dave was boasting about saving a lot of money, Goofy Gordon was calling him 'stupid' and another one was simply burbling incoherently in the corner. It's up to us to free these poor unfortunates from their torment. Apparently the first sign of madness is...
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