
STOP PRESS: 306 MPs DECIDE WHETHER 62MILLION PEOPLE WANT TO ENTER EURO

NICOLAS BENT TO pick a buttercup and handed it to Carla. Carla's heart fluttered as his fingertips touched hers. "These, my dear," said Nicoals Sarkozy, pointing to some shrubbery, "are roses tremières and those are ornithogala pyramidales." Carla's legs turned to jelly. "Blimey!" she thought in her native cockney accent which she so cunningly...

Cartoons by Jean Gouders FRENCH PRESIDENT NICOLAS Sarkozy AND German Chancellor, Angela Merkel were delighted yesterday when European Council President Herman Van Rompuy agreed to put his head under the guillotine, er, to be 'President' of the new Economic Government. "We have expressed the wish that you could assume this post," the French and...
Italian Prime Minister’s brains finally found
MEDICALSCIENCE WAS dumbfounded recently when an X-ray revealed what appears to be a human brain in Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's penis. The search for Berlusconi's brain had been going on for some years but it was only recently that Doctors could conclusively end their search. "We were tipped off after the news that...
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