STOP PRESS: 306 MPs DECIDE WHETHER 62MILLION PEOPLE WANT TO ENTER EURO
Monday, May 21, 5:00 pm
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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN sarcasm and irony is lost on most people. The odds are that most people will think that they are the same. Well, in a way they would be right, except that sarcasm is a more nasty form of irony, used primarily to score points or to hurt. It would be ironic...
WITH LIVE COMEDY on TV every night and almost all town centres having their own comedy club it’s easy to find yourself some stand-up at short notice. The question is, do they make it like they used to? Are today’s offerings are patch on comedy legends of old? Get Me In looks at some...
The Fast Show is back and it’s better than it ever was. I know you don’t believe this, but it’s true. But it’s only online, there are no TV versions of the new 2011 series, so get yourself over to Fosters.co.uk and “give yourself a bit of a treat” as faux music hall legend,...
The Fast Show is surely one of the best comedy sketch shows of all time – if not the best, so it’s great to have it back on our screens with a brand new 12-episode series. But it’s only the computer screen it’s on as the show is available only online via Fosters.co.uk. The...
Okay, by now you might have heard the devastating and shocking news that Kim Kardashian and her NBA husband, Kris Humphries, are supposedly headed to Divorce Court. The two tied the knot in August of this year at a lavish wedding that reportedly cost millions of dollars. Well, 72 days later, the whole relationship is kaput. ...
MARK KELLY'S DOWNSIZED DICTIONARY Language can be tricky. Have you ever tried using it? What do words really mean? What do words like really really mean? The Downsized Dictionary upgrades towards a complete language which will overthrow capitalism. Or your money back. Read on…. Affordable Housing. A term which...
WHAT A BRILLIANT idea! What does the man who only works on December 24th get up to for the rest of the year? Advertising agency copywriter (and gifted cartoonist) Dave Cornmell has let his fevered imagination run around this topic and come up with a bizarre selection of episodes from Santa's life. Apparently, because...
WICHITA – Local man Dennis Love today admitted to friends and drinking buddies that he, in fact, has no idea how to play poker. This resulted in six immediate invites to poker games, hosted by each one of his friends. In each case he was advised to "bring his wallet," while Love sarcastically replied,...
YOU KNOW IT'S not f***ing easy being me. There's always some w***er trying to diss me. Yeah, well, okay I gave one to that bastard from Mont, Monto – yeah, well, that foreign country we played and those bastards in UEFA have f***ing dumped me. You'd think they knew anything about soccer. So I'll...
by Steve Holmes HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN how to tie your shoelaces? Don't worry. You are not alone. In this busy world of clouded multitasking with shiny plastic gadgets it's becoming all too easy to lose track of those essential basics without which no great leader can completely express their core and randomly distributed visions....
THAT'S WHAT fat people do according to government health spokesperson Brian Box, pictured left. "Studies have shown that people who eat more are fatter than people who eat less," Mr Box said at a taxpayer-subsidised conference on Fat People and What They Should Do. "Also, people who get up out of their armchairs once...
CRAG THUNDER, the world-famous survivalist and the man who once called Bear Grylls 'a girl', is facing the toughest challenge of his career. Having climbed Mount Everest single-handed TWICE and swum the length of the Amazon while dressed as Biffo the Bear, Crag came to international prominence when he jumped off the Eiffel Tower,...
Cartoonist
Muammar Gaddafi 1942-2011 R.I.H.
THE DEATH HAS been announced of Corporal Muammar Gaddafi who died peacefully after a lifetime of service to his people which was conducted with his characteristic brand of honour and dignity. He was only 38, but, worn down by the responsibilities of providing generous welfare benefits for his subjects, he resembled a nonagenarian. A...
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