STOP PRESS: 306 MPs DECIDE WHETHER 62MILLION PEOPLE WANT TO ENTER EURO
Thursday, February 23, 12:10 am
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Okay, by now you might have heard the devastating and shocking news that Kim Kardashian and her NBA husband, Kris Humphries, are supposedly headed to Divorce Court. The two tied the knot in August of this year at a lavish wedding that reportedly cost millions of dollars. Well, 72 days later, the whole relationship is kaput. ...
WICHITA – Local man Dennis Love today admitted to friends and drinking buddies that he, in fact, has no idea how to play poker. This resulted in six immediate invites to poker games, hosted by each one of his friends. In each case he was advised to "bring his wallet," while Love sarcastically replied,...
CRAG THUNDER, the world-famous survivalist and the man who once called Bear Grylls 'a girl', is facing the toughest challenge of his career. Having climbed Mount Everest single-handed TWICE and swum the length of the Amazon while dressed as Biffo the Bear, Crag came to international prominence when he jumped off the Eiffel Tower,...
WHEN I WAS a reporter, I worked the horseshit beat. I am not making that up. When the managing editor assigned me the beat he said, “Congrats! You get the horseshit beat.” To the non-journalist ears, this might sound like boring news to cover, but this beat was ripe with rural political corruption plus...
By Piers Stasanewt You're All Going To Die Correspondent (LEFT: An average night in middle class suburbia.) EXTREME SPORTS FANS may favour bungee jumping, white water rafting or diving with sharks, but they do not know real danger like the middle class, middle aged residents of leafy suburbia. The middle classes • Drink wine...
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Eat more and exercise less, says government
THAT'S WHAT fat people do according to government health spokesperson Brian Box, pictured left. "Studies have shown that people who eat more are fatter than people who eat less," Mr Box said at a taxpayer-subsidised conference on Fat People and What They Should Do. "Also, people who get up out of their armchairs once...
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