
STOP PRESS: 306 MPs DECIDE WHETHER 62MILLION PEOPLE WANT TO ENTER EURO

SPORTS FROM THE BULL WELL IT CAME to pass just as I predicted. The brave Scottish hordes threw themselves at England like there was no tomorrow, missed two great chances to score tries when the funny shaped ball did what a funny shaped ball is supposed to do: bounce around like a demented squirrel...

NICOLAS BENT TO pick a buttercup and handed it to Carla. Carla's heart fluttered as his fingertips touched hers. "These, my dear," said Nicoals Sarkozy, pointing to some shrubbery, "are roses tremières and those are ornithogala pyramidales." Carla's legs turned to jelly. "Blimey!" she thought in her native cockney accent which she so cunningly...

MEDICALSCIENCE WAS dumbfounded recently when an X-ray revealed what appears to be a human brain in Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi's penis. The search for Berlusconi's brain had been going on for some years but it was only recently that Doctors could conclusively end their search. "We were tipped off after the news that...

LEFT: SOME nice flowers instead of the usual Twin Towers pic which we were lazy enough to include in an earlier edit which we now realise committed the same sins of the media we are lampooning below. NEWS ANCHOR, TED EXPECTANT: IT'S THE TENTH anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on New York and Washington...
Muammar Gaddafi 1942-2011 R.I.H.
THE DEATH HAS been announced of Corporal Muammar Gaddafi who died peacefully after a lifetime of service to his people which was conducted with his characteristic brand of honour and dignity. He was only 38, but, worn down by the responsibilities of providing generous welfare benefits for his subjects, he resembled a nonagenarian. A...
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