The odds are that most people will think that they are the same.

Well, in a way they would be right, except that sarcasm is a more nasty form of irony, used primarily to score points or to hurt.

It would be ironic if a daredevil stuntman renowned for performing death-defying feats fell off a step ladder and killed himself.

It would be sarcastic if someone referred to a tramp on a street corner as ‘Donald Trump’.

Some say that sarcasm is the humour of the intelligent while other call it the lowest form of wit.

Here at Ha! Magazine we employ both in order to satirize the world we live in today.

Tommy Cooper
The fez wearing comedy legend has plenty of gags to choose from. This one came fifth in a survey of the 50 funniest jokes, conducted in 2010 by OnePoll.com:
 
“I said to the gym instructor: ‘Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: ‘How flexible are you?’ I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’.”
 
If that didn’t do the trick, a couple of ‘just like that’s’ said quietly to yourself should put a smile on your face.
 
Michael McIntyre
Michael McIntyre seems to have been adopted as a national comedy treasure. His quirky musings have us in stitches, but it’s his distinctive voice which makes the material so hilarious:
 
“My wife and I just celebrated our fifth wedding anniversary. It gets harder every year to know what to say in the card so this year I just wrote: ‘I still love you, see last year’s card for full details’”
 
Peter Kay
Last year Peter Kay, one of Britain’s best loved comedians, returned to the stand-up circuit after a stint as his female alter-ego Geraldine McQueen. Kay is known for his cheeky delivery of somewhat cheesy jokes, like this one:

"How does Bob Marley like his doughnuts? Wi' jam in!"

Lee Evans
Fast becoming a comedy hero, cheeky chappy and star of ‘Mouse Hunt’ and ‘Something about Mary’, has audiences eating out of his hand with his own brand of physical comedy.
 
“[About doctors] They always say the same thing. They say ‘Your appointment is at four,’ and it’s never at four! You go down there at four and you have to wait in that waiting room with all the coughers for another hour. You know when that doctor comes out at five, and he’ll say, ‘I’ll see you now.’ ‘No, you’ won’t! I’ve got a few more posters to read yet! Sit down!’'

Jimmy Carr
Although you’re more likely to see him hosting a celebrity quiz show than performing on stage these days, Jimmy Carr should definitely get some credit for being a great stand up in his own right. His brand of comedy consists of jokes you know you shouldn’t laugh at, mainly because he tells you shouldn’t during the routine. His sets are full of close to the mark quips, like this one:

“My Dad’s dying wish was to have his family around him. I can’t help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.”
 
Ken Dodd
With comedians who spend their time on stage recalling amusing stories and observations, it can be hard to find one who just tells proper jokes. 85-year-old Dodd has no such problem. Famous for his one liners and his ‘tickling stick’, he once made it into the Guinness Book of Records for telling 1,500 jokes in 3 and a half hours

“Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel”
 
Frank Carson
Irish comedian Frank Carson is famous for his traditional style gag telling as well as his catch phrases; ‘That’s a cracker’ and ‘It’s the way I tell ‘em’. These are the sort of jokes you can easily repeat down the pub but if Frank’s catchphrase is right, you might not get the same kind of reception.

“I rang up British Telecom; I said ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said ‘Not you again.’
 
Sarah Millican
This lady could be Britain’s favourite female stand-up comic.  Her Geordie wit and sometimes-too-honest approach mean that audiences fall in love with her. She’s more about the amusing anecdote than telling jokes. One of her funniest stories came out of an interview rather than a stand-up routine, when she explained her excitement at finding underwear featuring the cartoon character She-Ra.

“I got really excited and told my sister and I forgot she’s not the right age group for She-Ra and she said, ‘the footballer?’ So there was this horrible moment where she genuinely thought I’d bought knickers with Alan Shearer’s face on.

Nick Helm
The award for best joke at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe went to festival favourite Nick Helm. If you’re not familiar with his work, catch him as he tours the UK this summer for more one-line witticisms like this.

''I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.''

If that put you in the mood for some laughs why not check out some live comedy this year? You can pick up last minute comedy tickets at www.getmein.com.

But it’s only online, there are no TV versions of the new 2011 series, so get yourself over to Fosters.co.uk and “give yourself a bit of a treat” as faux music hall legend, the Fast Show’s very own Arthur Atkinson may say.

And I’m glad to be able to report that the great man himself (Arthur that is) is also back, alive and well and with his totally unfunny catchphrase – “’ere, where’s me washboard” which when you’ve heard it often enough gets more hilarious each time with its inanity.

We also see the return of Ron Manager. Football hasn’t really been the same in Ron’s absence and we're still waiting for some of his observations on the modern game. So far, we’ve only seen Ron off-camera, lamenting the dangerous height of the studio’s stools.

The Fast Show has been off our screens since a “last ever” one-off version was screened by the BBC back in 2000. But YouTube gave it a real resurgence and creators Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson truly realised the potential of the web for sketch-based comedy.

The show is, after all, a series of short quick-fire sketches with the same characters coming back and back, so it makes perfect sense for it to be on the web only; it’s designed for us to dip in and out of. That was always the show’s ethos as it blazed a trail for other great comedy sketch shows in its wake like ‘Little Britain’ and ‘The Catherine Tate’ show which – whilst good – never quite seemed to achieve the same “laugh out loud uncontrollably” heights achieved by The Fast Show.

But a government health warning first; there are some very funny videos in the brand new web-only series being brought to us by Fosters.co.uk – along with a few other comedy legends like Vic Reeves & Bob Mortimer.

As I’ve said – The Fast Show is back and it’s better – and I mean it; so just watch it!

But it’s only the computer screen it’s on as the show is available only online via Fosters.co.uk.

The series started on November 11^th and it certainly hasn’t disappointed us die-hard fans who enjoyed it so much the first time around during the mid 1990s.

Lots of our old favourite characters are back like Dave Angel, eco warrior, the Chanel 9 “scorchio” TV channel, the “does my bum look big in this?” woman and lots more.

It’s particularly heart-warming to hear from Rowley Birkin QC, once more, rattling on about his former life in most unintelligible mumbles with the off lucid snatch with like: “I opened my eyes and by jingo, I realised I'd married three of 'em!” or … “the sound of a small child’s voice; ‘Mama… Mama!’” Of course, he always ends his eulogies with "I'm afraid I was very, very drunk."

Some of the Fast Show’s best known catchphrases became used in just about every type of media over the years. "Football isn't it?" “I’ll get me coat” "You aint seen me, right?" "This week I have been mostly eating…" "Suits you sir!" the list is almost never ending.

The shows creators Paul Whitehouse and Charlie Higson created a legend and with the passing years have lost none of their cutting edge whatsoever. The show works at different levels from the repeated nonsensical simplicity to sharp satire, deep pathos and wonderful observational humour.

Different again are Reeves and Mortimer who are also on Foster’s website with some of the most inexplicably funny stuff you’re ever likely to see with their afternoon delights; don’t miss either!

NHS.   An acronym for free health care : Not Here Soon.

Nuclear  Winter.   Severe climate change, lengthy periods of darkness, below-freezing

temperatures, violent windstorms, radioactive fallout, toxic smog, famine and possible

disruption to Premiership fixtures.

War  Crimes  Trial.   A process which, following a conflict, guarantees the successful prosecution of leaders on the losing side.

Cricket, ugly cricket

At Lords where it happened

The bowlers did their best

So the fixers won the Test

The bowling it was clandestine

Spot betting’s a real gold mine

Cricket, ugly cricket,

Asif, Amir and Butt did it.

No-balls had to be bowled

At the time when they were told

They put their careers on the line

At worst they thought they’d get a fine

Oh cricket, ugly cricket

The Judge didn’t like it

All of you I’d love to shoot

You’ve brought the game into disrepute

But I’ll make do with imprisonment

In the hope that you’ll repent.

Oh cricket ugly cricket,

At Lords of all places

It’s the tip of an iceberg

Said the late News of the World

What a mess the game is in

Greed is such an ugly sin.

(To calypso singers everywhere – Respect, Man)

What Lasts Longer than Kim Kardashian's Marriage:

1. The flavor in a new stick of gum

2. Sex with Hugh Hefner

3.  The cooking time of a minute steak (also coincidentally, the same amount of  time needed for sex with Hugh Hefner)

4. The monogrammed Mr. and Mrs. Kardashian-Humphries guest towels

5. Believe it or not –  Justin Bieber’s singing career

6. Sarah Palin's hope for a US Presidential career

7. A bag of chocolate truffles in a PMSing  whore house

8. A keg at a football game party

9. An ice cream cone in the Sahara Desert

And finally,

10. A truce between the Republicans and Democrats in the US Congress