SPORTS FROM THE BULL
WELL IT CAME to pass just as I predicted. The brave Scottish hordes threw themselves at England like there was no tomorrow, missed two great chances to score tries when the funny shaped ball did what a funny shaped ball is supposed to do: bounce around like a demented squirrel on heat. England 16 Scotland 12.
So what of England? Nervy, abject, awful, appalling, a pile of crap. Even the divine Jonny Wilkinson couldn’t hit a barn door from 30 metres out.
Also the lads have been ‘enjoying’ New Zealand just a little too much. Mike Tindall, husband of Princess Zara, vice captain, or should that be captain of vice, has had to admit toddling off to a second night club with a tasty blonde, having been caught on CCTV. Three more of the team got caught making lewd remarks to an attractive female press officer who made the mistake of giving them a 'briefing' in a hotel bedroom, and big Martin had to issue an apology on their behalf. Face like thunder or what?
Finally our snail-loving friends from across the water are doing their usual chaotic thing. Having been mullered by New Zealand, they then got the treatment from the scary and muscular Tonga, but still qualify for the quarter-finals against . . . England. You couldn’t make it up. Both teams playing rubbish so far, but don’t bet on one of them making the final.
