WITH LIVE COMEDY on TV every night and almost all town centres having their own comedy club it’s easy to find yourself some stand-up at short notice. The question is, do they make it like they used to? Are today’s offerings are patch on comedy legends of old? Get Me In looks at some...
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Posts Tagged ‘ Article ’
Some Good Old Fashioned Jokes
Muammar Gaddafi 1942-2011 R.I.H.
THE DEATH HAS been announced of Corporal Muammar Gaddafi who died peacefully after a lifetime of service to his people which was conducted with his characteristic brand of honour and dignity. He was only 38, but, worn down by the responsibilities of providing generous welfare benefits for his subjects, he resembled a nonagenarian. A...
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Mark Kelly’s Downsized Dictionary – 1st Edition
MARK KELLY'S DOWNSIZED DICTIONARY Language can be tricky. Have you ever tried using it? What do words really mean? What do words like really really mean? The Downsized Dictionary upgrades towards a complete language which will overthrow capitalism. Or your money back. Read on…. Affordable Housing. A term which...
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Ha! Book Review: 364 Days of Tedium
WHAT A BRILLIANT idea! What does the man who only works on December 24th get up to for the rest of the year? Advertising agency copywriter (and gifted cartoonist) Dave Cornmell has let his fevered imagination run around this topic and come up with a bizarre selection of episodes from Santa's life. Apparently, because...
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Man admits he has no idea how to play poker
WICHITA – Local man Dennis Love today admitted to friends and drinking buddies that he, in fact, has no idea how to play poker. This resulted in six immediate invites to poker games, hosted by each one of his friends. In each case he was advised to "bring his wallet," while Love sarcastically replied,...
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Ha! Social Media Success Course, lesson #1
by Steve Holmes HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN how to tie your shoelaces? Don't worry. You are not alone. In this busy world of clouded multitasking with shiny plastic gadgets it's becoming all too easy to lose track of those essential basics without which no great leader can completely express their core and randomly distributed visions....
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Eat more and exercise less, says government
THAT'S WHAT fat people do according to government health spokesperson Brian Box, pictured left. "Studies have shown that people who eat more are fatter than people who eat less," Mr Box said at a taxpayer-subsidised conference on Fat People and What They Should Do. "Also, people who get up out of their armchairs once...
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Survivalist faces his toughest challenge yet
CRAG THUNDER, the world-famous survivalist and the man who once called Bear Grylls 'a girl', is facing the toughest challenge of his career. Having climbed Mount Everest single-handed TWICE and swum the length of the Amazon while dressed as Biffo the Bear, Crag came to international prominence when he jumped off the Eiffel Tower,...
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The Leatherbarrow Rant #1: Tony Blair
TONY BLAIR IS the bastard who gave politics spin and made politicians almost trendy. He was always charming and smiling, ever ready to yank his tie off, ditch his jacket and roll up his shirtsleeves ready to get down and dirty when things got busy and there where plenty of cameras about. For Tony...
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Politician caught telling truth sensation
THE HOUSE OF COMMONS was rocked by allegations about a politician who is suspected of telling the truth on at least one occasion. "A disgrace to our noble vocation" – Tony Blair "I hope he didn't inhale" – Bill Clinton "You couldn't make it up" – Jeffrey Archer "I'm turning in my grave"- Richard...
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Britain’s Cash Hits the Fan
IN AN ACT of defiance following his recent Court appearances, the Guv of the Bank of England, Ronnie King together with his twin brother Reg have thrown caution to the wind, along with £75 billion of other people's money. Speaking at a news conference at the Blind Beggar venue in London's fashionable Whitechapel, a...
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Ross Kemp: the unedited memoirs, Part 3
1978, Aged 16, Walthamstow college SIXTEEN YEARS young and fresh out of school. God it felt good to be alive. Pimple they called me. Das college was a bustling affair with many distractions. But to be honest the worst thing I ever tried was a Snickers Bar. No, my real passion happened one...
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New Tory Party policies unveiled at conference
AT THE CONSERVATIVE Party conference in Manchester, our visionary Prime Minister amazed party colleagues and journalists alike by pledging to clear all the credit card debts of UK residents. To universal acclaim Cameron confirmed that the UK is also pulling out of Afganistan and Iraq, doing away with nuclear weapons, and finally ditching the...
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Charity begins at Home Secretary
OUR CONFERENCE CORRESPONDENT WRITES: IN A BLISTERING attack on the rest of the World, the Home Secretary, Theresa May, told the Tory Party Conference today that nobody other than thoroughbred British people have any right to a family life in a free society. "How can anyone who is not completely British possibly merit a...
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Knox Guilty!
SORRY, THE DAILY MAIL misheard. That should read NOT GUILTY!
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Jocks strapped, England head for French conversation . . .
SPORTS FROM THE BULL WELL IT CAME to pass just as I predicted. The brave Scottish hordes threw themselves at England like there was no tomorrow, missed two great chances to score tries when the funny shaped ball did what a funny shaped ball is supposed to do: bounce around like a demented squirrel...
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Just when the Scots need a stiff drink . . .
SCOTTISH BOOZE CRISIS: Salmon Addresses the Nation MY FELLOW SCOTS, I am speaking to you at a grave time. Our Proud Nation is smitten by a tidal wave of cheap Sassenach booze which is sapping the very lifeblood of our economy. We Scots are proud of our fine traditions especially our fearless consumption...
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Ross Kemp: the unedited memoirs, Part 2
1972, Aged 12, Secondary school: IT WAS ONLY in secondary school that I started to flourish. It was there that I began to act in some minor roles—Tom Thumb, Gullivers travels, Snow White, Streeb Grubling. I always got cast as the small guy, but God I loved it. There under the spotlight, the...
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Sports News: The auld enemies at loggerheads again
SPORTS FROM THE BULL THE CURRENT RUGBY world cup has been very enjoyable with matches conveniently broadcast from New Zealand at 7 and 9 a.m, allowing coffee, eggs and bacon to be consumed and the needs of your family totally ignored. One feature has been the respect for national anthems (even the English) and...
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Friday, May 24, 2:02 am
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Caricature of One Direction @onedirection for #TwitterCelebCarix as requested by @heather_hear
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Caricatures at exhibition with an Etch-a-Sketch!
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Caricature from photo through Twitter of @gicalorandi friend of @MoeMiah
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Caricature of Jeremy Vine @theJeremyVine for #TwitterCelebCarix
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Caricature of the BBC's Nick Robinson @bbcnickrobinson for #twittercelebcarix
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