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THAT'S WHAT fat people do according to government health spokesperson Brian Box, pictured left. "Studies have shown that people who eat more are fatter than people who eat less," Mr Box said at a taxpayer-subsidised conference on Fat People and What They Should Do. "Also, people who get up out of their armchairs once...
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CRAG THUNDER, the world-famous survivalist and the man who once called Bear Grylls 'a girl', is facing the toughest challenge of his career. Having climbed Mount Everest single-handed TWICE and swum the length of the Amazon while dressed as Biffo the Bear, Crag came to international prominence when he jumped off the Eiffel Tower,...
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Cartoons by Tim Leatherbarrow
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IN AN ACT of defiance following his recent Court appearances, the Guv of the Bank of England, Ronnie King together with his twin brother Reg have thrown caution to the wind, along with £75 billion of other people's money. Speaking at a news conference at the Blind Beggar venue in London's fashionable Whitechapel, a...
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Cartoons by Simon Ellinas
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AT THE CONSERVATIVE Party conference in Manchester, our visionary Prime Minister amazed party colleagues and journalists alike by pledging to clear all the credit card debts of UK residents. To universal acclaim Cameron confirmed that the UK is also pulling out of Afganistan and Iraq, doing away with nuclear weapons, and finally ditching the...
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SCOTTISH BOOZE CRISIS: Salmon Addresses the Nation MY FELLOW SCOTS, I am speaking to you at a grave time. Our Proud Nation is smitten by a tidal wave of cheap Sassenach booze which is sapping the very lifeblood of our economy. We Scots are proud of our fine traditions especially our fearless consumption...
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NICOLAS BENT TO pick a buttercup and handed it to Carla. Carla's heart fluttered as his fingertips touched hers. "These, my dear," said Nicoals Sarkozy, pointing to some shrubbery, "are roses tremières and those are ornithogala pyramidales." Carla's legs turned to jelly. "Blimey!" she thought in her native cockney accent which she so cunningly...
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THE LATEST COMEDY double act to hit the screens has taken the nation by storm with "Two Eds Are Better Than One" blowing away audiences in Liverpool. Playing to rapturous applause from an admittedly partisan audience, Ed Miliband, the tall, ahem, good looking one without glasses joshes and banters with his straight man, the...
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BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD, ALBERT? Cartoons by Tim Leatherbarrow
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Cartoonist Simon Ellinas
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AT THE PREMIERE of I Don't Know How She Does It starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Christina Hendricks, rumour was rife that that the two main stars of the film were contenders for Golden Globes. Cartoonist Simon Ellinas
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NOT TO BE OUTDONE by the Conservative Chancellor George Osborne, Labour leader Ed Milliband received a whipping from several hundred members of the Trades Union Congress in London earlier this week. Cartoonist and caricaturist Simon Ellinas.
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Caricatures and cartoons by Simon Ellinas
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LEFT: SOME nice flowers instead of the usual Twin Towers pic which we were lazy enough to include in an earlier edit which we now realise committed the same sins of the media we are lampooning below. NEWS ANCHOR, TED EXPECTANT: IT'S THE TENTH anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on New York and Washington...
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FOUR HUNDRED AND fifty days after the election, there's still no government in Belgium. But they still have marvellous mussels, waffles and chips! Cartoons by Jean Gouders
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Cartoons by Ian Parratt
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THE FORMER LABOUR Chancellor has released his memoirs to disclose several shocking revelations about Gordon Brown's administration as Prime Minister: 1) He failed to grasp the seriousness of the recession 2) There was an atmosphere of crisis and chaos 3) The Pope is Catholic 4) Bears shit in the woods 5) The sky is...
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LET'S GO FISHING in Britain's wonderfully clean fresh rivers and lakes! No more grotty chemicals, used condoms, old sofas and abandoned shopping trolleys. Cartoon by Tim Leatherbarrow
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Thursday, June 20, 11:44 am
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Muammar Gaddafi 1942-2011 R.I.H.
THE DEATH HAS been announced of Corporal Muammar Gaddafi who died peacefully after a lifetime of service to his people which was conducted with his characteristic brand of honour and dignity. He was only 38, but, worn down by the responsibilities of providing generous welfare benefits for his subjects, he resembled a nonagenarian. A...
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